It's Time to Trash Comparisons
I've come to realize that much of my defeat (which mainly manifested in a bad attitude and lack of confidence) had come through a misconception that I didn't measure up. I was always pulling out a measuring stick to see how I compared to others. No matter the situation, I was always ready to see how I would stand up to the competition. I made everyone an opponent. And quite honestly, I always counted myself as lesser than. It was a trap that maintained my position as a perpetual loser. This constant comparison bred anxiety, insecurities, and fear that I could not escape. That is no way to live. I needed to be free of it.
This was completely self-imposed. The truth is, there is no competition. I can only be who I am and there is no loss in that. I was so blinded by the comparisons that I could not see my own value. I know I can't be the only one who had a habit of doing this. It isn't at all intentional. It is an undercurrent that sucks you from being secure and overtakes you until you are drowning in the depths of negative self-perception. It may start with simple observations and questions about another's achievements, talents, or abilities. It may even begin as a genuine compliment toward someone and before you know it you are worshipping them and bashing yourself. I have seen this develop countless times in my fellow mamas. How easy is it to admire someone else's parenting ability?! You see her, the supermom, always so polished and put together. She cooks healthy meals every night, her home is always tidy, and she has maintained her shape after having seven children! She is perfect (or so it seems). Out comes your measuring stick... "How does she do it?", "I wish I could be half the mother she is", "I barely read to my children once a week", "She has seven, I can barely take care of one". There is a slew of other insults you can hurl at yourself after you've begun the comparison game.
The same applies to comparing your children or spouse to someone else's. We become master artists who paint the most beautiful picture of another's family and once placed side by side with a portrait of our reality, we can only help but cringe. Beware of the illusions you measure yourself against! There are two main reasons why it's time to trash the comparisons...
1. Because chances are the picture you've painted of the other person/s is NOT their reality
2. Because comparing yourself to and wishing for someone else's life WILL NOT change yours
The moment I stopped comparing myself to everyone else, I was able to fully enjoy being me. Embracing my uniqueness was the very first step to evolving into someone with the courage to pursue my purpose in this world. It wasn't until I destroyed that measuring stick was I able to gain an appreciation for what I could offer in friendships, relationships, and beyond.
Grow to love you. Grow to love the one you're with. Stop comparing love stories, birthing stories, success stories or whatever other area you feel deficient in. Appreciation is the best way to encourage yourself and a most crucial part of growth. Nourish yourself, your marriage, and your family by appreciating what makes you unique. Trash the comparisons. Embrace who you are and who you have.
Trash the measuring stick and you will grow beyond measure!